Acceptance
by mypiratecat1
Summary: One shot.  There are tons and tons of stories about Jack having long lost children.  Here is a different twist.  What if he could NOT have children?  Jack's introspective thoughts on acceptance, love and fatherhood.  Rated T for mild sexual reference.


_**Disclaimer: **Not mine, but that never stops pirates, savvy? _

_**Author's note: **As always, anyone who reads my fics knows that William has been released from being captain of the Dutchman, with certain conditions, and he and Elizabeth sail with Jack aboard the Pearl. The idea behind this one shot was mentioned in my longer fic, "The Ties That Bind", and I thought I would write Jack's viewpoint. Cheers, mates. Pirate Cat_

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William and Elizabeth were not upon the ship for a few hours. Every time that the mighty Black Pearl would require going into port, the ship's first mate and his wife would disembark and share a pleasant, romantic meal, just the two of them, and would take in the sights that were offered, arm in arm, to get away from their duties upon the Pearl and the confines of their cozy cabin for a short time.

It was always with the captain's insistence... he, himself, never brought any women aboard his own ship ... it was dreadful bad luck, according to his crew... so he could not begin to imagine sailing with the same woman, all of the time, every day, day in, day out... He had to hand it to the young couple that were his best friends. They were truly and inescapably in love.

As the Captain sat and watched sleeping baby Will in his basket, Jack Sparrow felt a bit of uncustomary meloncholy wash over him. Since his godson had been born upon his ship, he knew that there had been whisperings among the crew of just why the captain had taken such a shine to the little one that was not his, and of course, it always turned to musings behind Jack's back of the question of whether the captain had left any of himself behind in ports of dalliance all over the world, in the form of a child. Let them wonder, he thought... the stuff that legends are made of.

Little Will stirred a bit, and the captain leaned down to lift the boy and his blankets into his arms, his strong, slender hands enfolding the tiny one like a protective seashell. Leaning back in his chair upon the main deck, Jack propped his feet up on the railing and laid the baby across his thin chest, wrapping the blankets around his tiny form. Little Will made no sound, but cuddled himself against the captain like a kitten. Jack smiled.

He wondered, as the twilight sky began to fill with soft colours, if his own father had ever wanted grandchildren. Probably no more than Jack had wanted children, he told himself. That much was probably true...

Sighing, his thoughts continued. No matter. Children were not to be in Jack Sparrow's life. A bout with scarlet fever and mumps at the age of fourteen had made certain that Jack Sparrow would never father a child. The only person that knew this was Bootstrap Bill Turner, who had saved the young Sparrow's life as he laid in a burning fever and unbearable pain in a rented room above the Faithful Bride during that illness. And Bill wasn't telling how the two diseases in tandem had pretty much ended any chance of Jack ever creating a child of his own.

Why should it bother me, Jack wondered, as he cuddled Little Will in a most uncaptainly fashion. Because he couldn't do it... whether he wanted children or not, he couldn't do it.

But it did bother him. Of all of the things that he could do, no matter how outlandish or heroic or brave or selfish they were, he could not do that one thing that William could, he perused, as he regarded the tiny baby that was the very image of his first mate. Nature had made certain that Jack would never have his own son or daughter.

Oh well, he thought, dismissing the sadness with half-closed eyes looking out over the torchlit streets of Tortuga City... there is nothing that he could do to change any of it, even if he had really wanted to. Besides, he chuckled, who would want another little Jack Sparrow running about, anyway...

As the baby stirred against him, the captain thought that it was rather amazing that he did not miss finding himself a girlfriend to have a bit of fun with upon this night. As he liked to tell himself with a naughty grin, just because his own personal cannon shot only blanks didn't mean he didn't like to fire it. His dark eyes widened and he felt a tiny bit guilty, thinking such things while holding this beautiful picture of purity and innocence in his arms. Staring down at the baby asleep against his vest, he wondered had he ever been this innocent?

And he laughed softly as the babe puckered up his lips in his sleep, and the captain was shaken out of his momentary thoughtfulness... and his quiet laughing was shaking Little Will into wakefulness. As the baby cooed and looked up at the one who was watching over him for a few hours, Jack grinned down at him and said, out loud, "Who needs to father children, when I can jus' borrow one now an' then, eh, mate?"

As he rearranged himself upon his chair for more convenient conversation with the wee one in his care, the captain continued, "... I wouldn't know how t' be a father... I wouldn't know wot t' do..." as he fussily wrapped the blanket closer around the chubby baby, who yawned.

The captain's eyes softened as he carefully put his hands upon either side of the wee one, to make sure that Little Will did not roll out of his grasp. "... I wouldn't have th' slightest idea... besides, Bill told me when we suspected tha'... well..." his face reddened a bit, even if he was talking to a baby, "Bill said that real manhood is acceptin' one's self th' way that one is, not by wot one _can't _do, savvy?"

He jumped a little as he heard the low, laughing voices of the Turners as they were walking along the dock, their arms about each other... Elizabeth was carrying a rose, and William was holding her close to him. Jack's eyes rolled at the obvious love that shone from the young couple's eyes... a sight that seemed out of place in a place like Tortuga.

"Was he a good baby for you, Jack? We tried not to be gone too long... I know how nervous it makes you to watch Little Will for us," Elizabeth was gathering the sleeping Little Will out of Jack's lap, as William went to fetch tankards with which to partake of some fine Tortugan rum with their captain. "... thank you for looking after the baby so that we could have some time in port..."

The captain merely stood up and pulled chairs all around a barrel for all to join him, as he simply grinned and replied, his arms spreading out wide, "No worries, Izzy! Little Will was as good as a little gold doubloon, an' wot do ye mean it makes me nervous?" he drew himself up to his full height, proudly, "Who am I? I'm Captain Jack Sparrow... I can do anything!" Elizabeth grinned and kissed him lightly on the cheek as she made her way toward her and William's cabin, and baby Will's snug cradle.

Jack let his arms drop to his sides slowly. As he watched Little Will's curly head nestle in slumber in his mother's arms, Jack thought ruefully, "... I'm Captain Jack Sparrow... I can do anything..." the tiny one's pink fist waved about in the lamplight, and he and his mother disappeared into the darkness.

Jack stood alone on the deck of his ship, and hung his head a little in the shadows...the Turners were so in love... this time he did not roll his eyes, sarcastically... he found himself to almost be a bit envious of something so pure as the love that those two shared...

"...I'm Captain Jack Sparrow... I can do anything," he repeated, sighing to himself, "... except have what they have..."

As William returned to the main deck with the bottle of rum, three mugs, and a huge smile for his friend, Jack found himself relieved to sit down with his first mate. As Elizabeth happily joined them, the captain was drawn into the merry conversation and joking that they always partook in, especially while in port. Hearing about who was doing what... where a brawl took place... how good the food might have been... what tavern had burned down...

And as the night went on, Jack found himself forgetting his thoughts of earlier on in the evening. He wondered why he had felt so sad.

As he grinned and listened to his young friends tell another amusing story that they both knew he would enjoy, he looked back over the experiences that they'd had together, and thought that he wasn't so bad off... he _did_ have what his young friends had... because _they_ accepted him for what he was... and they allowed him to share in _their_ happiness. They always included him in their lives these days... and shared their son with him.

"... besides," he repeated silently to himself, truthfully, "... we really _don't_ need another _me_ runnin' about... I'm Captain Jack Sparrow... an' one o' me is quite enough!"

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End file.
